Yesterday SCOTUS rendered a landmark decision regarding marriage. As you know in a 5-4 decision the court ruled marriage will no longer be limited to one man and one woman. Social Media has exploded with celebration and disdain alike. Some leaders have applauded the decision as a win for civil rights while other leaders have cried this is the death of our country. As a friend, a husband, a dad, a follower of Jesus, and a pastor I would like to reflect on the issue of defining marriage in this little blog. I have not blogged for several months, but this issue is drawing me out for such a time as this. It is my hope that the tone of my reflection is filled with love and truth.
The defining of people, practice and truth has drastically changed in recent years. With the enlightened ideas of relative truth winning the minds of most in America, and the blazing speed of social media, and the collaborative essence of dispensing information with tools such as Wikipedia, finding simple definitions has become rare. I grew up in a time when to find definitions we would simply be told to “look it up in the dictionary.’ There were encyclopedia sales people who went door to door delivering a wealth of information that you could own on your very own shelf. The Bible was held in high regard taking it’s rightful place on the table next to the couch where Mom and Dad read it daily. The truth was easily accessed and easily defined in a limited space. Of course now we google when ever we want to have an answer to a question. And the answer or definition is based upon either popularity or the person who has effectively navigated the algorithms of google to place their answer at the top of the hit list. Truth has become personalized and illusive at the same time.
All the while I have watched friends struggle to find truth for themselves. The struggle for one’s own sense of identity has been the greatest struggle of our time. People regularly sacrifice convictions for popularity. Fame is sought after more than character. Success is often measured by how many hits a video receives on You Tube. We have been inundated with the oxymoron of Reality Shows. And many celebrities are famous for being famous.
This struggle for identity has brought people to the place where they identify themselves through their actions, and many of those actions were traditionally considered vices. Vices have become games that we champion and master on the screens that we now manipulate instead of just watching.
To my friends I want say, you are more that your actions. Your identity is not to be found in your actions good or bad. You were made in the image of God. And although made in the image of God, you also are subject to a sin nature. The sin nature makes us each prone to do what we don’t want to do and not do what we do want to do. Under that nature we are bound by the identity of our actions. But the identity of God, lost through sin, is redeemed when we are found in Christ.
The redefining of marriage by SCOTUS yesterday was another step in the process that has been taking place in our society for some time. The truth is this definition has been made possible by the disregard for marriage lived out across our nation and in our churches.
When the Bible speaks of marriage we are told to “reverence one another.” Actually it says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Too quickly this passage has been bandied back and forth rather than personally applied by both husband and wife. When I revere my wife I define marriage as a sacred institution. When I love her as Christ loved the Church, I define marriage as selfless. However if I speak harshly or denigrate my wife I am tearing down the very fabric of what I am trying to fashion.
We redefine marriage when we do not honor the marriage bed. When we participate in union before marriage we are already redefining marriage as something not worthy of the wait. When we co-habitate to save money while we save money to have the perfect day, we elevate the wedding over the marriage. We have refined marriage as being about saying: “yes to the dress” more than saying: “I promise to love in sickness and in health, for better for worse, for richer for poorer till death do us part.”
When church leaders struggle to remain faithful in their own marriages we redefine marriage. When we are consumed with images on the internet we redefine marriage. If we are abusive to our children overtly or by neglect we are redefining marriage and family. If we are not respectful to our parents we are redefining family and robbing ourselves of the promise of a good and long life.
The point is we all must seek to restore marriage and family. And it starts by submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. This mystery is the mystery of the Church, God’s family.
As for me and hopefully my house, we will define marriage in a way that honors Christ. We’ll chose to love. We will let Christ speak his identity into our lives. We will not be defined by our base desires, but by the Spirit of God that dwells in us and calls us to a better life. And we will pray for others to know the same truth, love, acceptance as we have experienced in the Larson family and more importantly in the family of God.
New Hope 